1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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