dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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