It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
