Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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