whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
