So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I pour the whiskey from now on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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