holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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