to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
