I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
