Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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