dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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