Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
