Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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