btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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