I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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