I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
