I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
