he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
