Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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