sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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