I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
