I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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