Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize