You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
