Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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