I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
