I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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