Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
