apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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