Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
