he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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