the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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