The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
