i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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