Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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