So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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