stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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