The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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