Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
