what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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