with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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