He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
