This is not my ceiling
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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