if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
