i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
