You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
