I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
