I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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