I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize