HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
