i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
