a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
