She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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