You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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