Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
