checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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