I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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