Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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