i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I just gargled with NyQuil
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
did i just pee glitter
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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