Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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