I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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