I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Randomize
