Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
It's never too late to be topless.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Never underestimate the power of titties
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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