It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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