I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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