Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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