I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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