she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
