i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
