In the future we'll all be gay
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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